So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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