we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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