Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
