I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
