Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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