It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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