So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
