you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
