i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
