Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
