I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
