Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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