How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
