And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
birth control should be required to get into college
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
