accomplished twins. life is a go
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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