You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
