ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
