In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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