hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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