Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Im part way to drunk.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I need water and some morals
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
