dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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