OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
