i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
