hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
