Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
