U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
