I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
