Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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