At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Holy sore nipples Batman
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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