My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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