I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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