I'm drive I can fine osifer
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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