She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How naked do you want me to be?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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