she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
