wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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