who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
