Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
