Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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