yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
