party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
