was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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