Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she peed on how many people?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
