I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
