It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i out mim tonsoeep
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