i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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