yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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