I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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