I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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