somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
