Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
