I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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