this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
