Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
